This story is shared at As I Sit Waiting, an art and storytelling project that includes a series of sculptures highlighting the stories of people who’ve had an abortion(s) or were forced to carry their pregnancy to term. This project is created and facilitated by artist Lydia Nobles.
This is DeJ’ah’s story. The text is taken and sometimes paraphrased from different segments of the video, which is linked below. A full transcript is coming soon.
I had to think, if I go through this pregnancy, what is my life going to look like right now?
I was literally two hundred dollars away from not being able to afford my apartment or anything. I have two children and they are little and I don't get much help even though I struggle, I don't get much help but you know nobody else sees that.
People look into my life and are like, oh you have an apartment, you're always hanging out with your kids, your kids are all dressed, you're dressed; everything looks so put together.
But in reality, two or three hundred dollars later, that can be all swept from under my feet.
I can give my kids this lifestyle that they're comfortable in or I can have an extra two children and my children will have to be four kids in one bedroom sharing one toy amongst the four of them.
Some people might be able to make that sacrifice and think that sacrifice is okay to them and that's completely okay and that's their choice .
But for me personally that's not something that I wanted to do.
There’s no reason to be ashamed. You’d be surprised how many women have abortions but just don’t talk about it, and then all you hear are bad things that later you find out are just not true. (Paraphrasing)
I just want to convey that no matter what decision you make it’s going to be ok. Everything will work itself out. It might suck at that moment. Abortions suck. Being a parent sucks. It just depends on how long you want it to suck.
Don’t get me wrong. Parenting is great. But there’s just some days, if I would have known how common and accessible abortions were, what would my life look like?
So I say do your research, not just on abortions and the types of abortions, but on parenting and what resources are around you to parent. People get pregnant and then have kids and think there are all of these things they qualify for — food stamps, housing help — but then they don’t quality for any of it.
And my last piece of advice is, and I know it’s very hard, but you have to close your ears to the bullshit. You have to close your ears and set boundaries with the people around you, or you will be pressured. You are the only person that faces the consequences of your decision.