Esta historia está publicada en Women on Web.

Mi primer experiencia fue terrible, afecto mucho mis sentimientos y cambio mi vida.

Acabada de terminar una relación fuertemente de apegos, no tenia con quien desahogar ni familia ni nada cercano.

Por mi depresion sali con alguien una persona 10 años mayor que mi que quizas se aprovecho de mi suceptibilidad de 22 años, en un momento que tuvimos relaciones sexuales, nos encontrabamos borrachos, cualquier persona podrá llamarme "puta" "caliente", etc. etc.

Sin embargo en ese momento, el se quito el condon sin decirme nada y me termino dentro. ¿acaso yo queria que me irrespetara de esa manera?, era mi culpa por ser la puta que se revuelca, que el se quizo quitar el condon por embarazarme, pero quizas muchos se pregunten, por que no tomaste la pastilla del dia despues.

Simplemente porque no tenia dinero porque perdi mi trabajo, y pues para eso, nadie quizo prestarmelo. Sabia que estaba embarazada, uno conoce su cuerpo lo sabia, he inmediatamente comence a exigir un aborto al irresponsable que se quito el condon sin decirme y me embarazo.

En resumidas cuentas, tenia que acostarme con el todas las veces que queria hasta que llegara la cita del aborto, tuve 13 semanas. No tienen idea que asco sentia que ese sujeto se aprovechara sexualmente de mi, solo por tener un aborto seguro, no estaba trabajando, ni estudiando, ni tenia donde vivir, solo queria escapar de esto y comenzar de cero. Llego el dia, no me arrepiento pero me senti aliviada, fueron 8 minutos dolorosos de succion, pero el medico me felicito por tomar esa decision y no afectar mi vida de esa manera (costo $750).

Esa es mi primera experiencia. Ya pasados 5 años, tengo mi relacion estable, con un hombre encantador y por ratos sofocante, planificaba pero me estaba intoxicando con la inyeccion, muchos sintomas secundarios tuve, deje de ponermela, en esos momentos mi pareja y y tuvimos problemas economicos mas no estaba trabajando aun por otras razones de mi "amado país".

Cuando deje de ponermela use una aplicacion la cual, les recomiendo que no confien en ninguna porque me dio la fecha mal del calculo de ovulacion y quede embarazada, reconoci la sangre de implantacion, los sintomas, le dije a mi pareja pero el me dijo que no creia que estaba embarazada y que solo soy dramas.

No me creyó, tengo una amiga que consigue las cytotec, me regalo 5 que me las puse bajo la lengua, estaba nerviosa porque nunca he abortado de esa manera, pero igual lo hice y no hubo marcha atras. Los primeros 10 minutos me dio escafrios y fuerte diarrea, mi pareja estaba dormido, me acoste donde él, el penso que la comida de la cena me hizo daño.

Me dio fiebre pase 30 minutos sintiendome terrible casi a punto de decirle lo que hice, pero no le dije porque esto podria afectarme legalmente. Despues de los 30 min me senti normal, cero sintomas, despues a las 5 horas comenzo el dolor poco a poco ascendiendo hasta que fui al baño y vi la sangre, dos pelotitas supongo que eran gemelos (soy el triple de asesina supongo), y de alli el sangrado fue fuerte, el dolor es fuerte como una regla que te duele fuerte tampoco no exagero, no es la gran cosa el dolor (estaba de 6 semanas exactas de embarazo, 12 dias de retraso), despues de eso que paz siento, hoy tengo un nuevo empleo, con mi pareja mejoraron las cosas, el quiere hijos a futuro yo no quiero, (en mi pais no dejan esterilizar a alguien que no ha tenido hijos).

Pero en fin, no me arrepiento asi que seré eternamente PUTA Y ASESINA para mi país, (sin embargo el tipo que me violo esta alli violando a otras, y pues del segundo nunca me hice prueba de embarazo, aborte sin tener una prueba de que lo estaba) y me da igual no me importa, es amor a mi misma, y al projimo, no traere hijos a sufrir a este nefasto mundo.

This Google Translate version in English has been edited for clarity and length:

My first experience was terrible, it affected my feelings a lot and changed my life. Having just ended a strongly attached relationship, I had no one to vent to, no family or anyone close.

Because of my depression, a person 10 years older than me took advantage of my 22-year-old susceptibility. At the time when we had sex, we were drunk.

Anyone can call me "whore" or “hot.” However at that moment, he took off the condom without saying anything. Did I want him to disrespect me like that? No. But it’s considered my fault for getting pregnant and for being a ‘whore,' even though he removed the condom.

But many may wonder — why did’t you take the morning after pill? Because I had no money, because I had lost my job, and for that, nobody wanted to lend me the money.

I knew I was pregnant. You know your body. I knew it and I immediately began to demand an abortion from the irresponsible person who took off the condom without telling me.

In short, to pay for the abortion, I had to sleep with him as many times as he wanted until the abortion appointment came.

I was 13 weeks along. People have no idea how gross I felt that this guy took sexual advantage of me, just so that I could have a safe abortion.

The day came. I do not regret it but I felt relieved. It was eight painful minutes of suction, but the doctor congratulated me for making that decision and not affecting my life in that way. It cost $750.

That is my first experience.

After five years, I have a stable relationship, with a charming man, though at times suffocating. I was careful but I was getting sick with the birth control injection. I had many secondary symptoms. I stopped using it.

tus razones son validas.jpeg

At that time, my partner and I had financial problems. I starting using a fertility app. I recommend that you do not trust any of them because it gave me the wrong ovulation calculation date and I got pregnant.

I recognized the symptoms and I told my partner, but he didn’t believe me and said I was being dramatic.

I have a friend who can get the cytotec abortion pills. She gave me five. I put them under my tongue. I was nervous because I've never had an abortion that way, but I did it anyway and there was no turning back.

The first 10 minutes I had chills and severe diarrhea. My partner was asleep. He thought that the food at dinner had made me sick. I got a fever and spent 30 minutes feeling terrible, almost about to tell him what I did. But I didn't tell him because this could affect me legally.

After 30 minutes I felt normal, zero symptoms. Then at 5 hours the pain began gradually ascending until I went to the bathroom and saw the blood.

I saw two balls. I suppose they were twins. So according to people who’ve never been in these situations, I am triple the killer I suppose.

From there the bleeding was strong and the pain was strong but not a big deal. I was exactly 6 weeks pregnant, 12 days late. After that, I felt peace.

Today I have a new job. With my partner things have improved. He wants children in the future, but I don’t.

Unfortunately, in my country they do not allow someone who has not had children to be sterilized. And in my country it is illegal to have abortions because “moral and religious reasons” dominate.

You can think of me as the most abominable person in the world, but the guy who raped me is out there raping others.

I support women to have abortions. I do not regret my abortions, so let others think of me as a slut and a murderer because of this country and it’s cruel laws.

I aborted because of love — it’s love for myself, and my neighbor. I will not bring children to suffer in this dire world.

~Ananda