This story is published at Abortion Out Loud.

I had just ended my 3-year relationship with my high school sweetheart.

I had thought I would be marrying that guy, so when I met the man I was pregnant with, I thought I was escaping my problems. I thought it was just going to be a fling.

I knew he was married but he said it was a forced marriage because his wife had become pregnant and he was going to divorce her. Time passed and I notice it was all a lie. We were always secretive about us and will only see each other when it was convenient for him.

At some point in the relationship I knew I was done with it. At first it was OK what we had, because after my previous relationship I didn’t want nothing serious. But I was ready to move on to the next level of our relationship after almost a 1 year and half with him, and he said he couldn’t.

I decided to end it and he didn’t want to. He insisted we would work it out somehow. I managed to stay away from him for about 2 months, but again he seduced me and I caved in.

After that, we continued to see each other in secret. I knew I was doing wrong and I wanted to end what we had, but I couldn’t. I had developed a connection to him and desire that was beyond my control.

I was on birth control but when I left him the first time I stopped it and never went back on it.

I never imagined I was going to get pregnant with him, and when I missed my period I thought I was just late. But when 2 weeks passed and I did a pregnancy test to confirm what I was hoping was not happening to me, I broke down.

I was 22 and there was no way I was ready to have a child. Financially, I was stable and I knew the child will be missing nothing, but mentally I was still a child myself and was in no condition to raise this child by myself.

I schedule dan appointment to get abortion the following week. I did all my research and knew I could get a medical abortion since I was only 4 weeks.

When I had my sonogram done to see how far I was in the pregnancy, I found out I was having twins.

I was scared but I knew I couldn’t bring these babies into the world without a father.

I had my abortion and yes there was pain, lots of it, but I know for me it was the right thing to do.

I hated this man and blamed him at first, but now after a few weeks have passed i accepted what I now know was both our faults — him for lies and me for allowing him.