This story is published at Women On Web.

I had an abortion. In fact I have had two. And I am not ashamed.

My feelings about my abortions were comfortable, resolved, relieved, confident, sure.

The first abortion was rather negative because the nurses were not very nice. The second was fantastic. Even though it was during a HUGE anti-choice demonstration, everyone in the clinic was so kind, I felt they cared more for me than the protestors did.

Both abortions were while I was in college. The first one, I was initially really happy to be pregnant with someone I loved. However, the relationship quickly became abusive, and I knew I did not want my child or myself to be in that environment. I also knew he would be after me for the rest of my life if I had that baby. So, I had an abortion.

The second, I was dating a great guy, very sweet and kind, just the type of person I would want in my life. He had finished a degree in Physics, and was working on one in Electrical Engineering. He had big plans to enter the Naval Flight Academy and become an astronaut.

I was taking the Pill, and became pregnant without realizing it, until I completely missed a period, and a sonogram showed I was 12 weeks pregnant. I'd spent the first several weeks of my pregnancy taking BC pills. I had no idea what the results would be. In addition, I could NOT saddle my boyfriend with a child at this stage. He would have done “the right thing” and married me, but it would have completely destroyed the relationship.

I do sometimes wonder what could have been, but I cannot begin to tell you how happy I am to have been able to make the choices that I did.

My friends were supportive overall. My family does not know.

~ Nikki