This story was published at Project Voice, which is no longer accessible on-line.

I was born and raised in Cuba. I had three abortions at different times in my life. I guess my approach to each of them has been totally different — my feelings and my reactions.

The first one: I was about 18. I wasn't that young, but for some reason I didn't feel like a woman enough. I felt like I was ugly. I don't know why. I started having sexual relationships relatively late compared to my friends. I was insecure and had some issues with my mom. Instead of happening at 13 or 14, my teenage problems were a little delayed. It was that time of my life.

So basically, I got a little loose and I started having relationships pretty quickly with several men, relatively too often. And then I got pregnant.

I was so naive. I told my mom, "You know. I haven't had my period in a while now. I don't know what's happening." Of course she didn't know I was having relationships, so when the doctor told her, "You are going to be a grandma," my mom looked at me and she was like, "Oh my god. What is going on here?" She did not talk to me for a couple of weeks. She was so upset with me.

I felt bad and I felt good. It was a combination. On the one hand, I felt bad because I felt like I had betrayed my mom. I made her feel sad. And on the other hand, I felt good, because I was a woman. I was able to conceive, even though I didn't have the baby. That was the first time.

Later on in my life, I got married. I had my boy, and two years after that I got pregnant again, and that's when I had a miscarriage. That's a different feeling, because I didn't will to have a miscarriage. I had a miscarriage, and then I had to go to the hospital. There they did an abortion to clean everything out.

The third one I felt very good about, because the guy that I was dating wasn't the right person for me. It wasn't the right relationship for me, even though when I told him I was pregnant he told me that he wanted the baby very much. I was in a stage in my life that I couldn't deal with that. I was living in the U.S. and I felt very bad that my son was in Cuba. it would have been hard on him if I had a baby then with another guy. It was hard to make the decision, but I felt it was the best for me at the time.

~ Anonymous