This story is published at Shout Your Abortion.

The old saying is “3rd time’s a charm!” Doesn’t feel like that at all.

I’ve had 3 abortions. None of them were with any support, not even my husband.

First was in 2013. My kids were 1.5 years and 9 months old. My birth control failed and the condom broke. I felt backed into a corner with no escape otherwise.

Editor’s note: Contraception fails more often than we are told. Click here to learn more.

I walked into the clinic alone and went through it alone. My husband waited in the car with our youngest. I cried myself to sleep after taking the second set of pills.

Second was 2015. My IUD had fallen out, unbeknownst to me. This time, I had one amazing friend who offered to drive me to the clinic and help me through it. She even took on protestors for me so I could get in and out safely.

However, I still went through the process alone yet again when I took the second set of pills at home.

Third was at the beginning of the pandemic, 2020. I missed pills due to a health issue, and this was my fault. I knew the choice I had to make. This time, I opened up even more. My 19-year-old niece drove me to the clinic, got me food, and let me unload my feelings.

But I still felt shame when I took the second set of pills at home.

Now, I’m finally ready to share my story. I don’t want any other human to have to hide in shame for something that’s a valid option.