This story was submitted to us.

I’m 39 years old. I didn’t think i could get pregnant due to health issues and my age. SURPRISE!

It was from a one night stand. I knew the guy previously but just as acquaintances.

I was on the fence this whole year about becoming a mother. I was seeking online sperm donors earlier this year. When I gave up that journey is when i accidentally got pregnant.

At first I was excited. It was something I didn’t think was possible for me. ALL of my friends are pregnant right now or mothers already.

As the weeks went on, the initial excitement wore off and turned to depression, dread and terror.

The father wanted us to be together but I did not. I realized I had made a big mistake having unprotected sex with him. He has a drug problem, lives with a drugdealer, has unstable employment and lives in filth.

I on the other hand have my life together, a good job, a home and a rental and a drug free life.

As the days went on my anxiety peaked, insomnia set in, I was numb. I felt my life was over and I would be attached to this man forever. I was so ashamed.

The few people I told were so happy for me, yet I was so angry. How was this a good situation!?

Also despite my good job I’m currently laid off and I am always traveling for work. My situation is not ideal for a child.

Anyways, once I actually gave myself the option to have an abortion, I was met with a wave of relief. I could see clearly for the first time in weeks. I was sure of my decision and did not feel ashamed.

I know I shared many “ reasons” for my abortion, but this site has shown me that you don’t need a reason except to not want to be pregnant.

This will be my second abortion. My first one was a very tough decision and I felt shame for years after.

That’s why I didn’t think it was an option this time. But it is.

I’m so so grateful for this compassionate group and my access to abortion. It changed my outlook on my decision and cleared my conscious.

I don’t feel alone anymore or that I have to justify my choice. Tears of joy.

Thank you to everyone who has shared their story- they’ve all helped me so so much! It’s beyond words.