Esta historia está publicada en Women on Web.
Lucía ~ Mis 2 ángeles
El corazón de una mujer, es un baúl lleno de secretos, valiosos secretos.
Yo sé que el hecho de que un bebe este dentro de ti, no lo hace parte de tu cuerpo, si embargo, cuando supe que estaba embarazada por 1 vez, fue a través de una prueba de sangre, Tenía 10 semanas, yo tenía solo 21 años, fue un descuido porque siempre hubo protección y decidimos hacer la prueba porque me daba mucho sueño, tenía antojos y me cansaba mucho, con mi pareja nos asustamos mucho, porque estábamos casi empezando la universidad, y aunque el trabajaba, como pareja teníamos mas metas y anhelos de superación.
La decisión fue entre ambos. Conseguimos unas pastillas, y toda una tarde reuní valor para hacerlo un domingo por la madrugada, era el mes de abril... aplique las pastillas al pie de la letra, no pude seguir dormida, amaneció, al levantarme, senti un fuerte dolor en el vientre.. y a pesar que las instrucciones era "pujar", no pude hacerlo, como a las 11 del dia, el dolor fue desapareciendo poco a poco. Luego sangre como si estuviese menstruando, y asi fue el primer aborto.
No terminamos con mi novio, seguimos la relación, sin embargo, a los 3 meses quede embarazada nuevamente... pero esta vez contactamos a la persona equivocada, ya que era un estafador, y a pesar de que aplique las pastillas, no tuve un aborto, y por eso el embarazo siguio normal,... sentia nauseas en la mañana, no me daba hambre... y por eso decidimos hacer una ecografia... y si, seguia embarazada, solo que esta vez, tenia 15 semanas...
Contactamos a la misma persona del primer aborto, y nos vendio un tratamiento mas fuerte, lo aplique entre semana, por la madrugada y si funciono... solo que como estaba estudiando dije que tenia dolor de estomago, entonces pude quedarme en casa,.. solo que esta vez en lugar de cuagulos... se rompio la fuente.. y salio .. entero.. no tuve valor de verlo, ... luego sangre.. me senti delgada..
y a pesar de que fue un golpe emocional fuerte, pero algo que ayudo es hacer duelo, ambos hicimos duelo, ya que, queriamos que nacieran, pero no se podia, no lo permitió el factor economico, ademas que el aborto va en contra de la religion que profesamos, pero poco a poco ambos lo asimilamos,
y puedo decir que lo mas importante es respetarnos entre mujeres que somos, en distintas condiciones, con distintas presiones sociales, no juzgando acciones, y pudiendo sentirnos libres por un camino espiritual sin ningun remordimiento o sentimiento de culpa, independientemente de que religion o practica sea. Tenemos derecho a elegir, sin presiones, sin culturas machistas, Somos mujeres, y nada puede cambiar esa condición.
English Translation via Google Translate:
The heart of a woman is a trunk full of secrets, valuable secrets. I know that the fact that a baby is inside you does not make it part of your body.
I had two medication abortions. They were physically painful, but despite the pain, I think it is more comfortable with pills because you are the one who does it.
The illegality affected my feelings. There is always a balance of good or bad, legal or illegal. But abortions are the same medical practice, only regulated by law.
More than sentimental, it was uncomfortable because the delivery place for the pills was at a restaurant, and that bothered me.
When I found out that I was pregnant for the first time, it was through a blood test. I was 10 weeks along. I was only 21 years old. It was an oversight because there was always protection.
We decided to do the test because I had been very sleepy. I had cravings and I got very tired. With my partner we were very scared, because we were almost starting university, and although he worked, as a couple we had more goals and hopes for improvement.
The decision was between the two of us. We got some pills, and a whole afternoon I gathered up the courage to do it on a Sunday morning. It was the month of April.
I applied the pills to the letter. I couldn't stay asleep. When I got up, I felt a strong pain in the belly, and even though the instructions were to “push," I couldn't do it.
Around 11 o'clock in the morning, the pain gradually disappeared. Then I was bleeding as if I were menstruating, and so that was the first abortion.
My boyfriend and I did not break up. We continued the relationship. However, after 3 months, I got pregnant again.
But this time we contacted the wrong person. He was a scammer, and despite applying the pills, I did not have an abortion. That’s why the pregnancy remained normal.
I felt nauseous in the morning. I didn't feel hungry. And that's why we decided to do an ultrasound. And yes, I was still pregnant, only this time I was 15 weeks along.
We contacted the same person from the first abortion, and he sold us a stronger treatment. I applied it during the week, at dawn. I was studying and I said I had a stomach ache, so I could stay home from class.
Only this time the fountain broke and the pregnancy came out whole. I had no courage to see it. Then blood. I felt thin.
And even though it was a strong emotional blow, something that helped is to mourn.
We both mourned our two angels. We had wanted them to be born, but it could not be. I did not allow it. It was the economic factor. I was living with my parents and I didn't have a job.
Even though abortion goes against the religion that we profess, little by little we both assimilated it.
I can say that the most important thing is to respect each other, among women, and to know that we are in different conditions, with different social pressures. We should have no judging of each other.
We should be able to feel free on a spiritual path without any remorse or guilt, regardless of what religion or practice it is.
We have the right to choose, without pressure, without macho cultures. We are women, and nothing can change that condition.
~ Lucy