This story is published at Reddit.
So I did it, I don’t feel regret, only a strange emptiness but I was abandoned during the process.
I’ve just had a medical abortion which was really difficult even with the painkillers. I can’t stop thinking about them both just falling out of me. There were twins.
I was completely alone during the whole process. My boyfriend knew what was going to happen and how serious this was, but he opted to spend the first two hours of the second medication admission in the gym.
He just said ‘if you really need anything text me,’ knowing he was meant to stay with me.
I was so scared, I hadn’t done this before. I knew what to expect from what the nurses said, but I also didn’t, and it was a strange, new experience. I was afraid of infections or having a hemorrhage.
But he just left, so I had to face it alone, and just by calling my dad who offered support while he was at work.
The first hour passes and it’s not so bad, but the pain gets unbearable by the second hour and I must’ve passed out for a bit probably like 30 minutes or so.
I couldn’t move when I woke up. I was the dizziest and weakest I’ve ever been.
I threw up next to myself on the sofa when I couldn’t move, then after a while I managed to make it to the toilet and it all happened.
I went back about 5 times after that, before he got back, and the pain continued for the next 6 hours where I was given no comfort, no reassurance.
I felt so alone in what was a horrible experience. I don’t regret it, I didn’t want this and I now have the contraceptive implant, but I wish it could’ve been bearable by someone being next to me.
The joke is I couldn’t even get myself water. I threw the duvet off my legs while I was having hot flashes and this started an argument about how I shouldn’t put something he sleeps with on the floor where it’s dirty.
The last thing I was thinking about was the fucking floor. I was thinking when is this going to end. Now it has and there’s an emptiness inside me. I needed to rant.