This story and the comment that follows are published at Reddit.
I had an abortion in April. It was my second, my first being only about 6 months prior.
With my first I never looked back. I knew it was the right decision, zero regrets. I really wish I could say the same for my second.
I won’t say I regret the second one, because that just isn’t accurate. I know without a doubt it was the right decision. Financially we just couldn’t. It just hurts.
Everyone loves to say “oh you figure it out” or “it just works out some how”, but I was not about to have a baby with the mindset of “we’ll figure it out”.
This was the same reasoning for the first one. The difference???
The second time was twins.
I’ve always always always wanted twins. And I’m just so angry that NOT having them was the best decision for not only me but for them as well.
Now I’m worried that when the time is right and if it’s just a singleton, I won’t be as happy. Worried that I gave up my only chance. And I know without a shadow of a doubt, that’s why I’m struggling.
That if it had only been one, I’d have moved on with my life just like I did the first time.
It’s just complicated and complex, and I have no one to talk to about this.
A commenter responds: This almost sounds like I wrote it. I had an abortion in October, it sucked but it was the right decision. And then birth control failed and pregnant again. Then found out it was twins.
I knew I couldn't keep them but my word did I want to. The idea of two twins just made my heart swell. I loved the thought of two bundles, but knew I couldn't financially support them. It made it harder to get the abortion too, knowing what I was doing to two potential babies rather than one.
It's hard, it's so hard. You can know deep down its the right decision but it doesn't stop the hurt. The truth is it'll get better and when you do have children at the right time (if you wish) hopefully you'll be able to be satisfied that you made the right decision at the time.
This is a lot of waffle but the point is when the time comes for children it'll be worth it. It'll make it better that you can provide for them how you'd like to at the right time rather than potentially the wrong time. 💕