I am nearly 62 years old and have had three abortions. I didn't get married until I was 59 years old, and I sometimes regret never having had children, but I never regret my abortions.
The first was when I was just 19 years old and a college sophomore. The father was my boyfriend at that time, but the relationship was rocky and I didn't want to have a baby.
My brother and best friend took me to a clinic near my parents' house over Christmas vacation, and everything went smoothly. I remember crying when I told my parents that night, and I still have one of the little hospital booties I wore in the clinic.
And, I used the abortion and my anxiety about where the relationship was headed as an excuse not to spend a semester abroad in Grenoble. This is something I regret!
My second abortion was when I was 22 or 23 years old. I was taking time off from college and trying to support myself in Philadelphia. The father was my boyfriend and housemate and was several years younger than me. Again, marriage wasn’t in the cards, and I wasn’t ready to have a child.
I went to a clinic in downtown Philly, where the doctor was quite rough, making the procedure somewhat uncomfortable. But everyone else at the clinic was very kind and explained that this physician wouldn't be working there anymore (it was actually his last day), so I was happy about that. I remember having French onion soup at Hamburger Hamlet afterward with my boyfriend.
My third and last abortion was when I was 37 or 38 years old and living in New York City. I got pregnant after one night with a nice guy that I used to do the New York Times crossword puzzles with at a local coffee shop -- but we weren't in a serious relationship.
The procedure itself was pretty straightforward, but it turned out that they didn't get all of the fetal tissue out, and I started cramping pretty badly later that evening. Finally, a piece of bloody stuff finally came out in my toilet, which was a little weird.
This abortion was in some ways the hardest, but mainly in retrospect, because I was still very much interested in finding a life partner and didn't realize at the time that I would never get pregnant again. I love children. I am a devoted aunt. And my overwhelming response to each of my abortions was relief, plain and simple.
~Cathy