"I could barely support myself financially, and when I have children, I want to be able to give them the world."

This story is published at Women on Web.

It’s kind of strange. I felt more sure about the second abortion, and yet more guilty. When I took the test I truly thought there was no possible way it would be positive. I felt stupid, and irresponsible and had an overwhelming sense of grief.

My decision was finally made when I thought about what kind of a life the child would have. I could barely support myself financially, and when I have children, I want to be able to give them the world.

I’ve had both a surgical abortion and a medical abortion.

Surgical - I remember they had to give me two anti-anxiety injections because I was crying so hard. It was very difficult and invasive. The antibiotics made me sick.

@NikkiMiles

@NikkiMiles

Medical - This method felt very natural, and would definitely be the process I would recommend... It doesn't seem real to me, I had an injection, took some pills and had an extremely heavy period.

I had a surgical abortion in 2002 when I was 17. I was on the birth control pill at the time, but the hormones were making me vomit occasionally. At 17, I didn't realize that this would make the pill less effective, and wound up pregnant.

My boyfriend and I had been together for almost three years and he wanted me to keep it. I was young and scared and couldn't cope with the embarrassment, let alone the challenges of being such a young mother. My boyfriend and I broke up shortly after the abortion.

In 2009, I was facing another unexpected pregnancy. My period was a week late and I truly thought it was just stress. My boyfriend and I had been EXTREMELY careful, except one night.

I took Plan B within an hour of having unprotected sex. We broke up two weeks after that night, and another two weeks later I found out I was pregnant.

I really struggled with the decision since I had already had an abortion. The women at the clinic were extremely understanding and explained that some women are incredibly fertile and it isn't uncommon for situations like mine.

When I found out about the medical procedure, I decided that it made the most sense for me. I want children one day, but it felt wrong having a child that way. The counselors at the clinic were wonderful and discussed more effective forms of birth control, and recommended an IUD so I would not have to go through another unexpected, unplanned pregnancy.

My friends were incredibly supportive. I chose not to tell my family, because I didn't want them to change the way they looked at me.

~Sam


Podcast ~ "The decision to have an abortion was easy for me."

"In patriarchal societies such as India’s, women are often taught motherhood is their life’s main calling, and therefore any choice that detracts from the path is automatically denounced."