This story is published at Shout Your Abortion.
I have had three. That’s right. I have had 3 abortions.
The first one happened right after college and I was devastated and disappointed in myself. I took the at-home abortion pill and I bled for 3 weeks and could only bring myself to tell my sisters. I felt very alone because my shame was so big.
The second happened when I was 31 and I had just started dating someone new. I was sad and anxious and fearful of his judgement, which he did not have. He merely brushed it off.
The third one happened just a year later. My new boyfriend had dumped me on a Monday, chose my boss over me. In turn, I quit my job that same day. 2 losses, bearable.
That Wednesday, I found out I was pregnant. My therapist sent me a number for a self help line. A little less bearable, I suppose.
Yes, each of these abortions were traumatic. However, not once did I entertain having a baby.
Sometimes I think about how old they would be now, but not much more. Those 3 abortions were not difficult decisions for me.
I have also yet to encounter someone that doesn’t sit with me while I open up and talk about it. To anyone feeling alone, like I did during my first abortion, you are not! .You have thousands of people in your corner.
I also live in Texas and had my last abortion in Texas. I work with a women’s group in Houston that provides funding for women trying to get abortions, for covering legal fees & to bring awareness to the community and organizations to donate to and learn from.
And — To the woman that I judged in high school for having 2 abortions, I am so sorry. I hope you are happy and enjoying your life.