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I’ve had three abortions. I had my first at sixteen, because of my super-ultra religious family who would’ve sincerely disapproved of their daughter being pregnant, especially with the boy I was seeing (because of his ‘undesirable’ background.)
That abortion saved my relationship with my family, and my life, and I am grateful that my boyfriend supported me. I miss him, but will always remember him.
I had my second abortion when I was nineteen. This time I was married, after it being arranged by my community, and he was physically, sexually and emotionally abusive. I feared what he could do to a child: if he treated me like that how would he treat his baby?
I aborted to protect my child.
My third abortion occurred two years later, when I was twenty. I was newly widowed (gratefully) and fell pregnant even whilst using birth control.
I was scared to have a baby even then, because I was single and alone and financially struggling. I was also relying on my parents who would’ve stopped supporting me if they knew I was pregnant out of wedlock. My community would’ve ostracised me for being a slut, or moving on too quick, or for ‘fornicating’.
My third abortion helped me recover from the conflicts in my life and gave me time to get my life together. I am forever grateful for the protection and salvation that abortion has provided for me, despite my abortions being hard and traumatising decisions.
I hope to find the love of my life one day and have children with him, and I know that if I can achieve this dream it will only be because of my abortions.
Abortion will forever be the only choice for those of us who need more time and support to heal ourselves before we can commit to a baby.
I used to be so ashamed of having multiple abortions but know I now that I am not alone, and that they were blessings. Thank you.