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I am in my 30s and very recently became a single mother of 2 young children. After years spent in a loveless relationship, I decided to leave my partner. Myself and my children are currently living with my mother and 2 younger siblings until I can get us back on our feet.
A few months ago I drunkenly rekindled with an ex I hadn't seen in over 10 years. I wanted an escape and it was a wonderful, no strings attached night — at least that's what I thought until I discovered I was pregnant a short time later.
We weren't in contact before or after the night we had slept together, and after 10 years of no contact I didn't feel I really knew who he was or if I could trust him, so I proceeded to have a medical abortion without his knowledge.
I was supported through the whole process by the wonderful staff at the clinic and all in all it was a straight forward procedure. An appointment was made to have an IUD fitted the following month.
I felt no guilt or regret, just total relief.
Fast forward 2 weeks, I find myself once again in the company of that same ex. I tell him what has happened, he's wonderfully supportive and upset that I had to go through it without him.
We once again sleep together, this time using contraception which unfortunately failed.
So I obtained the emergency contraceptive pill the next day, but I was obviously too far along in my cycle for it to be effective.
Fast forward another 2 weeks and I am now pregnant again, immediately after an abortion.
I was absolutely devastated! Initially I felt so ashamed, so stupid and selfish that I could allow this to happen twice in concession. But then I had a strong word with myself . . .
I was a woman seeking intimacy with a man also seeking intimacy, there's no shame in that.
Unfortunately our chosen method of contraception failed to protect us from falling pregnant, but luckily we are fortunate to have free and supportive abortion services which we can avail of.
Once I removed the unconscious narratives that were playing on loop in my head, I could think clearly and bat away any shame.
This is the best decision for me and my family and I thank my lucky stars that as a woman I now have attorney over my own body — which was not the case in my country up until very recently.
A note from us: Contraception fails more often than we are told. Click here to read more about the challenges of preventing pregnancies.