This story is published at Teen Vogue.

I had two abortions in New Jersey. Each time, I was about 5 weeks pregnant, according to the doctors.

I knew instantly, as soon as I discovered I was pregnant, that I wanted an abortion, there was no question. I wanted nothing to do with the fathers of the babies, both of whom I had dated and had raped me, and one of whom otherwise abused me regularly.

I knew that if I had a child I would be tied to those men for the rest of my life. I also did not want to go through the pain of pregnancy and delivery, nor did I want to care for, nor try to financially support a child.

After my second abortion I woke up crying and the doctor was yelling at me for crying. A very nice volunteer came to comfort me. I told her right then and there, on the bed, that I wanted my tubes tied.

I was shocked when she told me I would basically have to beg a doctor to do it, that it wasn't really up to me.

~Barbara, 58