This story is published at Women on Web. The English version is from Google Translate and the original Spanish version follows below.
I felt scared, scared for what was going to happen, and irresistible for staying. But hey, once I did it, I felt calm, as I had solved the situation. And it was not like everyone tells you, that you are traumatized.
I think the moment when you decide to do it is of fundamental importance. It is not the same to be 4 weeks than of 12 weeks. It is best to do it as soon as possible. It is not a baby, it is something that if we leave it obviously will transform into that.
The important thing is not to feel murderous, or guilty !!! Society often wants us to feel that way. BUT WE ARE FREE FROM OUR BODIES and from what we want to do with our lives always.
It was in the clinic, and I felt the means for the illegal and unknown, but the truth was they treated me very well. I felt contained. I felt good after the process. The only negative thing is the cost, and that not everyone can pay that money. That is a shame. It should be a legal right for everyone who wants, as it happens in other countries, such as Spain.
The experience with medications, oxaprost, I could not repeat it. I did only the first of the 3 stages, I achieved a complete abortion, but the pain was horrible. I classify it as gender violence. It was a lot of pain. You feel like you are going through childbirth and I think that It is the most traumatic.
After 1 month I was well, everything is overcome, but I preferred to go to a clinic this time.
In both cases, they were accidents with men I knew very recently, and the truth was it was not the right time, nor did I have the desire to start a family with someone I did not even know. It would have completely changed my life.
I want to have children but not in this way.
The reality is that it does not affect me mentally. It was more the fear of the unknown and the illegality that unfortunately happens in our country.
Even where I realized it, they treated me very well, expert people without any kind of judgment towards the women who attend there.
Unfortunately on another occasion I had an abortion, but due to lack of money, I did it with medications and the truth is that I did not have a good experience.
It should be available to all who want to end this process. It's like we always hear — a seed is not a tree. This I see it similar, but in due time.
I shared it with few people, but they understood me and supported me 100%. They were always with me !!!
~Vicky
In the orignial Spanish:
ME sentía con miedo, asustada por lo que iba a pasar, e irrespnsableee por haber quedado. Pero buen, una vez que lo hice me senti tranquila , como que habia solucionado la situacion y no era como todoss te dicen que quedas re traumada, creo de fundamental importancia el momento cuando uno decide hacerlo, no es lo mismo estar de 4 semanas que de 12, lo mejor es realizarlo lo antes posible, no es un bebe, es algo que si dejamos obviamente se va a transformar en eso. Lo importante es no sentirnos asesinas, ni culpables!!! la sociedad muchas veces quiere que nos sintamos asi. PERO SOMOS LIBRES DE NUESTROS CUERPOSS y de lo que querramos hacer con nuestras vidas siempre.
Como decía anteriormente, en la clínica sentí el medio por lo ilegal y desconocido, pero la verdad me trataron muy bien, me senti contenida, me senti bien luego del proceso, lo unico negativo es lo económico y que no todo el mundo puede acceder a pagar ese dinero. QUe es una pena, por que deberia ser una derecho legal para toda la que quiera, como pasa en otros paises, como españa. La experiencia con medicamentos el oxaprost, no pude repetirlo, hice solo la primera de las 3 etapas, logre un aborto completo, pero el dolor fue horrible, lo clasifico como violencia de genero, fue mucho dolor, pasas por un parto y creo que eso es lo mas traumático. Despues estuve 1 mes indispuesta, todo se supera pero prefiero ir a una clínica
En los dos casos, fueron accidentes con hombres que conocía hace muy poco, y la verdad no era el momento ni tenia las ganas de armar una familia con alguien que ni conosco. Era modificar completamente mi vida, quiero tener hijos pero no de esta manera.
La realidad es que no me afecto mentalmente, es mas el miedo por lo desconocido y lo ilegal que lamentablemente pasa en nuestro país. Mismo donde me lo realizacion me atendieron muy bien, gente experta sin ningun tipo de juicio hacia las mujeres que concurren allí. Lamentablemente en otro oportunidad me hice un 2° aborto, pero por falta de dinero, lo realice con medicamentos y la verdad que no la pase nada bien. Tendría que estar al alcance de todas las que quieran terminar con ese proceso. Es como escuche alguna vez una semilla no es un arbol, aca lo veo parecido, pero a su debido tiempo, no dejar esperar hacerlo al instante rapido.
Lo compartí con poca gente, pero supieron entenderme y me apoyaron en un 100%, estuvieron conmigo siempre!!!
~Vicky