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My dad didn't like condoms, diaphragms aren't 100% effective, and The Pill still isn't a feasible solution for many women. My parents apparently liked having sex, like most other sexual animals.
My mom wanted to have a baby on her terms. She didn't want to doom herself and her children to poverty and deprivation, so she waited to have children.
Her body kept trying to change the schedule. It took available material, some provided by my father, and tried to do what it was designed to do, before she was ready.
So she terminated the pregnancies. She made this decision, evaluating her position and capabilities each time, on a number of occasions which is nobody's business but her own.
When she was ready, she had my brother and me.
I didn't get to know about her abortions until I hit an incredible pit of depression, involving lamenting to my father that I was “clearly” a mistake. Only then did he tell me the truth - I was selected. I was planned. I was wanted. My parents didn't have me because my mom suddenly went crazy when she was well into her 30s and jumped at the opportunity presented by an “oops,” like I believed.
My place in the world was guarded, carved out, and especially for me. I was special, not because my mom waited to have sex and deprived herself of love and pleasure, but because my mom chose to live a full life and prepare specifically for my arrival.
I must tell you, for a woman who was so sure that she was an unwanted, uninvited, insignificant, and powerless speck, this changed my life.
Because of this, I stopped abusing drugs, I went back to school, I claimed my life, again.
There are people who shamed my mother into silence, and will continue to do so because they feel it is their right.
To all of those who insist their religion grants them the right to shame my mom for being smart: kindly hold your church services in the middle of a busy intersection. I'm sure your god will grant you their full protection.
Because of people like you, my mom and I still can't speak about her abortions. She couldn't tell me until I needed one. Even then, dad had to tell me because he is allowed to be proud of her for having the strength to demand that she have children on her terms.
Pregnancy happens more than you think. Women's bodies get pregnant because that's one of the things they're made to do. It's as natural as pooping or developing a zit. Men's bodies produce sperm because that's one of the things they're made to do. Humans are designed by their DNA to make more humans and pass on their genetic code.
People have sex because that's one of the things humans are made to do. It “feels good” because making more humans is one of your body’s goals in life, regardless of your career or religion. Sort of like taking a very satisfying poo.
@NikkiMiles
I've had more than one abortion, myself.
I am not financially ready to raise another human. I can't even afford my own health insurance, much less to give birth, especially in my country. I'll have another one if I find out I'm pregnant again before I'm ready to have children. I faithfully use birth control, too, including condoms. Only abstinence and homosexuality prevent pregnancy 100% of the time, and I'm not willing to impose that on myself or my partner.
Stop trying to make people ashamed for making responsible choices, for taking advantage of the scientific and medical abilities afforded to us by modern society, and for enjoying one of the most basic activities creatures of the Earth have: sex.
Stop waving around the written ravings of long dead men, claiming that truth cannot be found outside of the hallucinations of ancient prophets. Stop pretending that your religion hasn't killed millions, silenced billions, and doesn't present a clear and present danger to humanity, as a whole.
Your ideas are outdated. Your feelings are misplaced. Your refusal to live in the present is unwelcome.
If you'd Iike to return to a world where society is invisible, where humans compete with other hominids for resources, where the survival of the species depended upon gambling on every possibility of birth, be my guest. Try for reincarnation, and hope that it's not bounded by linear time.
Don't you dare try to shame me or my mom for living in the present. I hope someday this testimony won't be necessary. I hope I live to see a world where I won't need to remain anonymous for the sake of protecting my mom from religious jackals who think her life is theirs to determine.
Your rights end where mine begin, and vice versa.
Grow up. Take control of your own life and leave mine alone. I'm not forcing anyone to do anything with their body aside from demanding sovereignty over my own. Don't pretend that my freedom to do what I want with mine impedes yours - you have no right to tell me what to do. If you want to save unborn babies so badly, go get pregnant yourself.