Share your story. Spread some love. Stop the stigma.
All in Two Abortions
“I was 20 when I got pregnant for the first time. I had a permanent partner, but it was toxic. He was an alcoholic, a despot and an elderly miser (he even gave me money for bread). I couldn't free myself from him, I was too young and stupid. He said that he can't have children because he has one testicle, I stupid believed and unfortunately I got pregnant.” Click the green link to see the whole story in Polish and English.
“I’m still healing from my childhood as well as from my 10 year long relationship of abuse. Everyone has a different story and a different reason. Regardless, the right to choose should not be taken away. Would you rather me bring a child into a potentially dangerous life or prevent a child from being mentally damaged and abused as well? I chose not to. I chose right.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I could not believe. I took exactly 7 tests. How did this happen? Why now? After struggling with infertility for 4 years with a different partner, I really wanted this pregnancy but had a lot of pressure from the father. I felt so much guilt for years thinking I was being punished for my first abortion. In the end, I am glad I chose to abort because of the stress of his threats and obstinance. He threatened to blackmail me, disappear, sign away his rights, and even threatened suicide. He also told me I was too unstable to be a parent and I would ruin HIS life.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“It’s important to share our stories so that people understand. It’s particularly important for young women who are faced with these choices to feel it’s an OK choice to make. It’s not a selfish choice. It’s a choice you are making for the good of your future, your children’s future and society’s future. “ Click the green title to access the audio.
“The most challenging part about it has been the stigma. When I opened up to my close friends about it, they couldn’t believe that I had had abortions because I am an exemplary mother — this created a dialogue that was very much needed to shift perspectives. I believe it’s important to talk about it openly so people don’t bash others or shame themselves for doing what is best for them, like I did for years.”
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“Unfortunately this has happened through a second unwanted pregnancy- rather than conscious thought about it beforehand! I have a chronic illness and mental health issues. Even if I did really want it, I don’t think I’d cope well. My belief is that people should ONLY have a child because they REALLY want it, and are prepared to make the enormous sacrifices it involves. No-one should have a child because it’s the expectation of society, their family or friends, or because they “don’t want to be lonely.” That is what I call selfish, not deciding to be child-free because you know you couldn’t provide for their needs.”
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I found out I was pregnant with my IUD correctly in place. When the doctor did a uterine biopsy to ensure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy, the fetus did not dislodge as it should have, and stayed firmly in place after the doctor removed my IUD a week later. I was devastated. I did not want this pregnancy but in addition I felt such guilt for having put the fetus through so much useless stress. I had a copper IUD put in place after my first abortion a year ago. I had promised myself I would never put myself in the situation of having to terminate for non-medical reasons again, but here I was, again, despite having done everything I was supposed to do to prevent it.”
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“Despite being on the pill, I found myself pregnant again. And this time I had no idea how to feel. On the one hand, I still desperately wanted children. On the other hand, in my heart of hearts I knew that this was not a healthy relationship. Was it fair to bring a child into this? What if Andrew treated them like he treated me?”
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“I became a mother to a beautiful baby girl and a wife to a monster. I tried to offer him a life that I thought would make him want to change. Big shock – it doesn’t work that way. As the abuse escalated after her birth, when she was 9 months old I found the courage and support to leave. He raped me the last night we spent under the same roof and about a month later I found out I was pregnant. “
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“When we had sex, he 'didn't allow me' to use diaphragm, spermicide or condoms (nor did I ever like the idea of using The Pill). So I'd 'relent', and we typically had sex using no birth control at all, even though it greatly concerned me.”
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“By the time I turned 18 I had met someone new at my job. We fell madly in love very quickly. It was a blossoming work romance and I was incredibly happy. We used condoms religiously, never skipped it, not once. However, three months into our very new, very loving relationship, one condom broke. That’s all it took, that one time, that one condom. I was pregnant.”
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