"My boyfriend and I had to take a break, walk around the block a few times, have a tea, and discuss it some more."

This story is published at Reddit.

I thought I’d post about this, since I hadn't found much other anecdotal information from women in my same position (twin abortion plus IUD insertion).

2 days ago, I had an abortion at 8 weeks pregnant. I'd known I was pregnant for a month, but due to my partner and I both being out of town for most of the month on overlapping business trips, we'd waited till this point to be able to discuss as much as possible in person.

We ultimately decided that it's not the right time for us — especially me, as I’m in grad school and have a very unstable income and am pursuing a rather cutthroat artistic profession.

We're in a stable relationship and one of us has a stable income. Both those factors made it a lot harder to decide on it. Eventually we came to terms with the fact that we're not saying no to a baby forever, just no for a couple of years while we get our lives more in order.

It also made it harder knowing that I was pregnant for a whole month. The thing kept growing inside me and it didn't make it better googling the growth process on the internet (stay away from The Bump!!!).

During the sonogram portion of the procedure, the lady asked me if I’d like to see the sonogram (nope) or hear any details about it (no), or know if there were multiples (um, kind of morbidly curious as I’d always sort of fantasized about having twins and I am related to at least one set of twins).

Sure enough, it was twins. My boyfriend and I had to take a break, walk around the block a few times, have a tea and discuss it some more.

all figuring things out.jpeg

It just felt like, though we could recreate a pregnancy situation in the future, twins were a special and rare occurrence, and it would be near impossible for lightning to strike twice.

Eventually, I got over my cold feet and we went back to the clinic to continue with the procedure. Once in the room, I had the sedative, I started to cry less and feel better.

The procedure itself didn't hurt, just felt kind of uncomfortable. It took them a couple tries to get, um, everything out, which made it a bit harder. My clinic didn't offer a full sedative, which in a way made it more traumatic and in a way I’m glad I knew what went on in there.

I totally wish now that I didn't know it had been twins. It’s making it harder to deal with emotionally. Though I don't regret it, and still totally believe it's not the right time now, I am definitely quite sad.

Now onto recovery time questions: I felt mostly fine the first day, if a bit woozy. I’m guessing the sedative was also still providing some pain relief the first day.

Yesterday I had some minor cramping, but last night had quite a lot of cramping and also gas cramps which has made the whole area more uncomfortable. My cramps are painful but manageable and my cervix doesn't quite hurt, but feels somehow raw and open.

I’m wondering if this is normal, and also how I’ll know if there are perforations caused by my IUD. Will it take longer to heal down there because of the double whammy of IUD insertion and the abortion? I just want my body to feel normal again.

I know it's different for everyone, but I’d love anecdotal evidence from other women who have had copper IUD insertion and abortion at the same time. I feel like I’ll be able to move on emotionally as well once I don't feel it in my body anymore.

TL;DR: twin abortion + copper IUD insertion at 8 weeks-- looking for anecdotal evidence on how long is it normal to be in pain for afterwards?

1 Comment from:

TrustedAdult, a physician who performs abortions

2 days out sounds like a "give it more time" situation. People who aren't OBs get super-excited about twins, but in terms of having uncomplicated pregnancies that produce healthy children, having two sequential pregnancies is really much better than having twins. Most twin pregnancies are healthy, but the complication rate is much higher. It has a strange cultural place.

I've never examined or taken care of you, but your symptoms sound normal. I'd give it more time. None of it sounds like perforation. Although perforation is always possible, it probably hasn't happened.


"It would be double the amount of struggle to try and care for them both."

"People always tell you twins are a blessing and twins are a miracle." ~ Podcast With Transcript