This story is published at Reddit.
It was twins
Yesterday was my appointment, and I asked to see the ultrasound because honestly I just think it’s cool to see.
The doctor looked so confused and looked up at me and said, “Do you have any multiples in your family?”
There are basically no twins in my entire family, so I just said “no not at all.”
She turned the screen towards me and two little blobs instead of one were popped up on the screen.
“There’s actually 2 of them, if you can see that,” she says to me.
2?
Twins?
@APeaceOfWerk
Using my rational brain I know that should make no difference. Two babies are way harder than one baby. It would be double the amount of struggle to try and care for them both. I went through with it obviously, but it still makes me feel so much worse.
That will probably never happen again, because there’s absolutely no one in my family who’s ever had twins.
Something about how rare this is, drives me nuts. It feels like I’m spoiling an opportunity given to me. I feel like . . . I don’t know how i feel.
This just sucks man.
Edit: WOW! Thank you guys for all the support and kind words. I needed it a lot. I’m very grateful that there are subreddits and communities for this stuff, because in so many places it’s so taboo to talk about. You guys are great, thank you
COMMENTS:
I totally hear you. I was so nervous going into my appointment they'd tell me it's multiples, and I’d just feel worse. because it's crazy! It doesn't happen to a lot of people. i can assure you though, you're not going to be missing out. You can have two babies whenever! Maybe not twins, but it's not an opportunity lost. It’s just an ended pregnancy. I’m so sorry this is bringing you down though. Iwould have felt the same way. It’s super confusing now ,but with time brings peace:)
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Very recently I went through the same thing except I didn't ask to see or know anything. No twins in my family. I started to question something I was so sure of doing just because there was two. It is such a strange thing right? Never in a million years I would have thought that could happen to me. The 2nd of November I went through with the abortion. I don't regret it but still wonder what it would have been like.
It does suck but you made the right choice for yourself ♡
I think the 'missed opportunity' feeling is pretty common. I've never wanted kids and still don't, but I still experienced the same feeling. Just remember that it's normal and okay to be sad or have negative feelings even when you're making the right decision!
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This is a very common sentiment. I worked in abortion care for five years and it always struck me as odd when women would choose not to terminate after learning it was multiples. The choice is obviously yours no matter what. However, coming to that decision is usually based upon financial burden, time, emotionally not being prepared for parenthood, not having sufficient support etc. This is not magically fixed when women learn of multiples but they often change their mind because of the rarity of multiples. You made the best choice for you and your body at this time in your life. When you are ready, who knows, your body might do something crazy again and surprise you. I hope you find solace in knowing many women before have made this choice as well.
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I didn’t abort my miracle IUD baby because the odds were like 99.9% unlikely to get pregnant. I also have PCOS. It was a fucking challenge. There were times I regretted it, though now that she’s older and past the newborn stage and I’ve dealt with the post-partum anxiety, it’s lovely). I ended up getting pregnant again with the IUD and PCOS a few months after she was born. NOPE. Couldn’t do it again.
All that is to say- if you can’t handle one, two won’t be any easier. Don’t enter motherhood on some romantic idea of matching clothes and twice the toys/wake ups.
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Hey hon, take it from someone who’s family runs so rampant with multiples that there have been jokes since my sister and I were LITTLE KIDS that “We’d be the next generation with twins, just you wait!”
@APeaceOfWerk
But what never followed after those jokes were the reality of what the (in my opinion) curse of multiples is. Twin/triplet pregnancies can be super dangerous. There have been at least 2 women in my family who have died in childbirth with multiples. Also, I don’t know if there’s any statistics to back this up or if it’s just bad luck in my family, but the multiples in my family have also not had the best of luck health wise, either. My twin uncles died of SIDS, and there are 2 other twins in our family who now live as singles because their sibling was lost to SIDS as well.
My partner and I hope to have children one day, following the experience we’ve recently had with my abortion, but we’ve agreed that due to the risks, if I were to get pregnant with twins; we would abort again.
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That happened to me. No twins at all in my family. I didn’t get attached or bothered. It was the right decision for me.·
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I was so afraid to see twins... because I knew I’d probably back out for the reasons you mentioned. Luckily there was only a sac, not even a fetal pole, and I pushed forward. I feel bad enough as it is. You made the right decision for you and that’s all that matters. ❤️