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I've had 3 abortions. My first one I was 15 years old, the second one I was 18 and the last one was this year, I'm 20 years old.

Sometimes I go about my days as if this was just a part of my life that happened, but they were extremely painful and difficult moments.

I wanted to continue with all my pregnancies. I always wanted to be a mother, but circumstances made me make other decisions.

I never had absolutely any support from my family. They knew about all the pregnancies and abortions and made a point of humiliating and judging me in each of these situations.

They threatened to take me out of the house if I didn't have an abortion. They said things that affected my psychology.

Of all the abortions I've had, I feel like none of them were completely my choice and that hurts a lot.

Everything would have been different if I had the support of my family, even though I didn't have the support of the men I got pregnant.

Last time it was no different. I didn't tell them I was pregnant but they found out when they waited for me to leave the house to go through my things and break into my room.

When they found out they had said horrible things to me. I felt like the worst person in the world, I felt helpless.

In addition to not having support from my family, the man I became pregnant with threatened and blackmailed me into having an abortion.

I had to leave the house and go to a hotel, because it was unbearable to stay in that place with them telling me so many bad things. They harassed me through messages and social media and I had to block them and delete them from my life to preserve my mental health.

I went through everything alone, I cried every night. I rented a place to live. I went to the clinic alone. I spent days trying to find alternatives and ways not to do this. I felt helpless, alone and experienced the worst feelings I could ever feel.

I haven't spoken to them for 4 months. This Sunday I received a message from an unknown number, it was my family writing that they would like me to meet them again, that they were willing to accept me and the baby. They don't know if I had the abortion or not.

I cried a lot today, reading this message was very difficult for me because when I needed support most I didn't have it, and now it doesn't matter anymore.

They think I continued with the pregnancy and only now did they say they would accept the baby, after saying that if I didn't abort, they would kick me out of the house, after calling me stupid, a whore, irresponsible.

It made me think about how things would have been if I had had the support they offer now.

I chose not to get back in touch, I'm so hurt by all of this that I never want to see or talk to them again.

I feel like it wouldn't be fair to me or everything I've been through. Does that make sense?

After they left me alone and helpless, I went to live alone. I go through financial difficulties but I always do my best to continue living alone.

I continued studying at my college. I got two internships and at a time when I should be happy to be able to build my life and move on.

Next I receive this message and I find myself flooded by the same horrible feelings I had when I went through all of this.

I am achieving things that I would never have achieved if I hadn't made that decision, it was one of the most difficult and painful decisions of my life but I fight every day to move forward.

Today that I am away from them I feel that it is possible to start over, moving away from this toxic environment made me see that perhaps there are new possibilities and new paths, that even though I have gone through so much pain, it can still be happiness.

And now that I've been through it all alone, I don't ever want to go back to the place or the people who hurt me so much at one of the most vulnerable times of my life.

I don't plan on seeing or speaking to them again, no matter how difficult things may be.

Today I celebrate a new beginning, but inside me there is a broken and hurt part that regrets the way things turned out. It's very difficult to go through everything alone.

I'm faced with the ambiguous feeling of thinking about how things could have been if I had continued with the pregnancy, but I accept things as they were and I'm looking forward (and a little scared, I confess) for the path that I'm building.

Thanks to listen to me. To all the women who also had an abortion and went through everything alone, feel hugged.