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I am 53 years old and have never regretted my 3 abortions that I had 28 years ago.
They were all with the same person, a person I was deeply in love with and lived with, my longest relationship at that point.
The first was, I admit, due to carelessness. I had been on hormonal birth control for over 7 years and I was worried at the time about health concerns. I had constant yeast infections, bloating, cold sore outbreaks, etc. So after cycling through a bunch — thanks Planned Parenthood, I never got pregnant! — I stopped taking them altogether.
I got pregnant and aborted at about nine weeks. After that I was very careful using condoms and also the rhythm method as in those days, there wasn’t much else.
It worked great for a year, then I got pregnant again. I asked my partner if perhaps this would be the time to get married and have the kid, considering I was his “fiancée.” But he simply said that now wasn’t any better than last time.
So the second one was at 7 weeks. I was seriously depressed at this point realizing that this man who was so fun and had introduced me to great people ( some of which are still friends) wasn’t into actually committing to Me or having a family.
I was adamant about sex like once a month maybe and only in the middle of KNOWN infertile days ALWAYS with a condom. I was terrified of getting pregnant, and I did — 6 months after the last abortion.
I wanted to die. I have a history of depression and anxiety and I was in a horrible state.
Thankfully PP was testing RU-486 for free and I couldn’t stomach another vacuum abortion so I aborted using medication at less than six weeks.
I was so newly pregnant there was no fetal pole cardiac activity present. I had one huge cramp and the tissue plopped out and I looked at it and was relieved. It looked like a pink Jellyfish.
I left that person because he’d lied to me and didn’t want what I wanted in life. I’ve never regretted my decision as I was a hurt, lost person at that point in my life. And I watched my sister, who was a teen parent, struggle and fail.
I never wanted that hard a life, especially for any child of mine. I never wanted a child without a loving father.
I’m currently married to my husband who I’ve been with 17 years, child free, with no regrets.
