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I’ve had four abortions over the span of 13 years, from the ages of 20 to 33.
I was so afraid of disappointing others that I chose to terminate the first two pregnancies.
Two pregnancies in my early twenties, then I had a child with an abusive man. He really did a number on me emotionally and I was terrified of ever having another child because of it.
I lost custody of my child for a year even after I worked my way off of public assistance! My child’s father dragged me through a custody battle and raked me over the coals as public assistance made it hard to stay in one place.
My other two abortions happened after I turned 30. Not dealing with the emotional abuse caused me to fear having another child and then having the baby taken away.
Letting fear drive my decisions was hard and trying to keep everyone happy was exhausting.
I finally married and had another child thinking I’d finally gotten it right and life should be easy, but I’ve battled with bipolar depression for years.
I’m not sure if it is related to my past choices but I’ve learned to take life one day at a time and to let go of my past.