This story was submitted to us.
For starters, sharing these stories is the hardest and most freeing thing ever. I’m crying as I share.
I’ve had 6 abortions now. And I’m absolutely upset that the world is as ugly and controlling as it has become.
Roe vs Wade overturned is sadly how low America has sank. Honestly just a way to force women to repopulate the planet because so many people died of Covid or continue to die from other causes.
I believe in our body our choice. However, being a mother and loving my babies I do have always makes me feel like I’m worth living.
Let us begin: I had my first child at 19. I love my son very much and am glad he exists. But his father, the man I’m still married to for 15 years, is an emotionally disturbed and abusive person that I’ve tried to escape from with no success.
We’ve continually had our breakdowns and the dark empty nights of walking away from each other only to come back. It’s called a trauma bond. Addicted to toxicity at this point. Idk. Idk.
My second pregnancy ended in miscarriage and then my husband got fixed against my knowledge or wanting. But it’s his body. Just like ours is for our own choices.
My third pregnancy came after years of emotional baggage of just wanting another baby but not being allowed to have one. During one of mine and my husband’s breakups, I had a one night stand. Immediately pregnant.
We got back together and obviously I was forbidden to keep it. So at 7 weeks pregnant I got an abortion from a very rude and judgmental lady doctor that wasn’t sure if she wanted to give me one, but let’s just skip those dramatics and say I succeeded.
One year later to the month, my husband and I were on another breakup . . . and my desperation to find someone new on a dating app, grew to us meeting. Only for it to turn into a one night stand and no interest of him wanting said child he put in me. So at 6 weeks I had an abortion.
Finally… my husband and I split up a year later for a solid 9 months. I tried dating apps again, met a very abusive guy, let him move in with me for 3 weeks, I ended up pregnant. And I kept it.
My daughter is amazing and I love her. I had her at 28. That dude hasn’t ever been heard of since. He bailed as soon as he could.
Sadly . . . I reunited with my husband. He agreed to help raise my daughter as his. Three years after her birth we split again.
He was constantly drinking and never present so in that year I tried three different times to find something . . . anything. . . I didn’t want to be alone. I crave love so desperately and not this cold icy love if that’s what you call it.
My kids deserve more. I wanted to find a “family man”. My husband is always sleeping or drinking or gaming. He has no interest in being a family. Every 1 of those 3 times I met someone I ended up pregnant, but always was abandoned and ended up fleeing back to my husband in sadness of never being loved by anyone but him. He wins. The icing on the cake.
We live in a generation of instant gratification and one night stands. After that all men have been done with me. So I had 3 abortions in a 1 year period.
I went a solid 18 months without getting pregnant or splitting up with hubby. Then just now ended another pregnancy at 6 weeks.
I very much am grateful I got to have a choice. I was excited at first and wanted it, but like other stories on here, felt too trapped in a bad life to keep it.
I’m in a rather different situation than most I feel. My husband always leads me to the same direction. Yet I’m still with him. No matter how hard I try to leave.
I wanted all those babies at the point I had sex and knew what I was doing. I didn’t use protection of any kind.
It’s sad how many men will nut in you without seeing you again.
However, in my life, in this marriage I am in now . . . I chose to abort because I’m not in a good place despite my endless trying to find a new happiness. A trap that many women fall into with their abusers that they will never be loved or wanted by anyone else but them!
I love the kids I do have. And someday I hope I find myself far away from the life I’ve picked for so long so I can have a better chance at more babies. And for my current babies to see what true happiness looks like in a family environment.
The take away of my story? Abortion is stigmatizing to the point women believe that it will cause infertility. I’ve done medical abortions and one in stirrups surgically. All safe and legal of course, so maybe that’s why I’m still fertile?
I just want my own life story to hold out hope for others that it is your body. Abortions don’t make you a horrible person. They are safe — unlike right wingers saying. You still get pregnant after!
Even if sometimes you’re still with an asshole man that you know you can’t keep the baby with.
~ signed anonymous