Share your story. Spread some love. Stop the stigma.
“I’m still healing from my childhood as well as from my 10 year long relationship of abuse. Everyone has a different story and a different reason. Regardless, the right to choose should not be taken away. Would you rather me bring a child into a potentially dangerous life or prevent a child from being mentally damaged and abused as well? I chose not to. I chose right.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“When I found out I was pregnant, I could not believe. I took exactly 7 tests. How did this happen? Why now? After struggling with infertility for 4 years with a different partner, I really wanted this pregnancy but had a lot of pressure from the father. I felt so much guilt for years thinking I was being punished for my first abortion. In the end, I am glad I chose to abort because of the stress of his threats and obstinance. He threatened to blackmail me, disappear, sign away his rights, and even threatened suicide. He also told me I was too unstable to be a parent and I would ruin HIS life.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“This morning I was filled with nerves and now I’m back home with such relief. I was kind of okay the first time and okay the second time and this will be the okay-est for me especially since I was so early in my pregnancy, I can morally deal with myself. I am so grateful that today women have the opportunity to choose when they are ready to make a family. I chose the pill because I have always felt that is the most natural way for a body. I do want children one day. I fantasize about them all the time, but this year is not the time.” Click the green title to see the whole story.
“It’s important to share our stories so that people understand. It’s particularly important for young women who are faced with these choices to feel it’s an OK choice to make. It’s not a selfish choice. It’s a choice you are making for the good of your future, your children’s future and society’s future. “ Click the green title to access the audio.
“The most challenging part about it has been the stigma. When I opened up to my close friends about it, they couldn’t believe that I had had abortions because I am an exemplary mother — this created a dialogue that was very much needed to shift perspectives. I believe it’s important to talk about it openly so people don’t bash others or shame themselves for doing what is best for them, like I did for years.”
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“Unfortunately this has happened through a second unwanted pregnancy- rather than conscious thought about it beforehand! I have a chronic illness and mental health issues. Even if I did really want it, I don’t think I’d cope well. My belief is that people should ONLY have a child because they REALLY want it, and are prepared to make the enormous sacrifices it involves. No-one should have a child because it’s the expectation of society, their family or friends, or because they “don’t want to be lonely.” That is what I call selfish, not deciding to be child-free because you know you couldn’t provide for their needs.”
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I found out I was pregnant with my IUD correctly in place. When the doctor did a uterine biopsy to ensure it wasn't an ectopic pregnancy, the fetus did not dislodge as it should have, and stayed firmly in place after the doctor removed my IUD a week later. I was devastated. I did not want this pregnancy but in addition I felt such guilt for having put the fetus through so much useless stress. I had a copper IUD put in place after my first abortion a year ago. I had promised myself I would never put myself in the situation of having to terminate for non-medical reasons again, but here I was, again, despite having done everything I was supposed to do to prevent it.”
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“Despite being on the pill, I found myself pregnant again. And this time I had no idea how to feel. On the one hand, I still desperately wanted children. On the other hand, in my heart of hearts I knew that this was not a healthy relationship. Was it fair to bring a child into this? What if Andrew treated them like he treated me?”
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“I became a mother to a beautiful baby girl and a wife to a monster. I tried to offer him a life that I thought would make him want to change. Big shock – it doesn’t work that way. As the abuse escalated after her birth, when she was 9 months old I found the courage and support to leave. He raped me the last night we spent under the same roof and about a month later I found out I was pregnant. “
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"I wait for Friday to abort so that I don't miss any days of work," said Volatiana, who works as a maid. "Over the weekend I continue drinking the infusions and massaging my stomach," she said, wincing at the memories. "When I'm about to abort I ask [my 6] children to play outside."
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“Como mujer que ha tenido varios abortos, quiero decir que el embarazo no deseado y el aborto en espacios de ilegalidad, desinformación y fundamentalismos religiosos se convierten en una realidad dolorosa, peligrosa e incluso letal para las mujeres. Somos maltratadas, traficadas, abusadas en nuestro dolor, desesperación e ignorancia. Esa es la realidad que me tocó vivír cuando tenía entre 25 años y 27 años, respirando impotencia e indignación de vivir en una sociedad con autoridades y leyes de espaldas de nuestras realidades.”
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The English translation of this story is included.
“I never even told one of the guys I was pregnant. I just got an abortion and kept it moving. He already had five kids of his own. I definitely should have been on birth control with a baby maker like that. The other guy; well I was seventeen and he was cheating on his girlfriend with me. That speaks volumes on its own.”
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“The abortion was a quick, painful experience and I remember being angry to see that my boyfriend had left the waiting room to go to McDonald's while I was having the abortion. It was raining that day and we drove to a house of a friend and I chilled out for the day. I felt angry at my boyfriend for not having to suffer. I felt sad but not exactly because of the loss of pregnancy. In retrospect, the fact that the experience was unprepared for, unprocessed, and unsupported made it so much harder than it needed to be.”
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“My second son was only a few months old when I discovered that I was pregnant for the fifth time despite breastfeeding. We felt that it would be too great a drain on my body’s resources so try to raise one infant while growing another, so, abortion number three. This one I was very sad about, but I felt like I would have been cheating my infant son, like I wouldn’t have been able to provide enough nutrients to him or the fetus, that one or both of them would suffer a deficiency.”
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